area51novel Chapter 64: To gain and then lose is far more heartbreaking than never having had it at all.
Chapter 64: To gain and then lose is far more heartbreaking than never having had it at all.
Chapter 64: To gain and then lose is far more heartbreaking than never having had it at all.
Night fell, and the stars twinkled in the sky.
The side hall of the Papal Palace was brightly lit.
Bibi Dong was hunched over her desk, writing furiously. The mountain of official documents was enough to drive any workaholic to despair.
The aftermath of the war, the reorganization of the Haotian Sect, the negotiations between the two great empires, and the balance of internal power—she had to handle every single one of these matters personally.
She had considered having the so-called "brain trust" Nan Feng share some of the burden, but when she thought of his capricious and capricious style of doing things, which often involved "killing to solve problems" or "flipping the table," she decisively abandoned the idea and kicked him out, chair and all.
At this very moment, Nan Feng, who had been "exiled," was sprawled out on a rocking chair in the Imperial Garden, enjoying a rare moment of leisure.
He held a bright red fruit in his left hand and a delicate osmanthus cake in his right, eating with great gusto.
"Mmm—this is life!"
After a month of living a life of hardship outdoors, returning to the Papal Palace is like going from hell to heaven.
Anyway, this Spider King clone's body is a bottomless pit; it can digest as much as it eats, so there's no need to worry about it overeating.
Just as Nan Feng was enjoying his meal...
rustling sounds —
A soft footstep came from behind the flower bushes.
A petite, golden figure sneaked in cautiously, like a thief.
A thousand feet of snow.
After a month apart, the girl who used to always hold her head high like a proud little princess now looked somewhat haggard, with slightly red eyes, and her exquisite palace dress appeared somewhat wrinkled.
She hid behind a big tree, peeking out her little head and nervously observing the figure on the rocking chair.
When she saw the "mother" who was eating with her legs crossed and no regard for her appearance, her dull eyes lit up instantly, and her heart, which had been hanging in suspense, finally settled down.
She's that "good mother"! Not that cold, aloof pope!
"Mother!"
A joyful smile appeared on Qian Renxue's face. No longer caring about etiquette, she lifted her skirt and ran over.
however.
To her surprise, the "mom" who used to open her arms and even pick her up and spin her around whenever she saw her did not turn around with surprise when she heard her voice. Instead, she turned her back abruptly as if she had been electrocuted!
She even took a big bite out of the fruit in her hand, making a crisp "crunch" sound, as if to say, "I'm busy, leave me alone."
Qian Renxue suddenly stopped a few steps away from the rocking chair.
"Mom—Mom?"
no respond.
Nan Feng acted as if he hadn't heard her, continuing to eat with his back to her, even deliberately making loud chewing noises, as if to say: I'm very angry, and the consequences will be severe, so don't bother me.
Qian Renxue panicked a little.
She didn't know what she had done wrong, or why her "mother," who always doted on her, would suddenly ignore her.
Could it be because she hasn't visited her mother in the past month?
But—but Grandpa won't let her go! Grandpa said Mom went to fight bad guys, it's dangerous, so he locked her in the ancestral hall and won't let her out.
"Mother----"
Qian Renxue bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. She carefully took two steps forward and reached out her little hand to tug at Nan Feng's clothes: "Mommy—it's me, Xue'er—"
"Are you angry with Xue'er?"
"snort!"
Nanfeng finally reacted.
He let out a heavy snort, his voice filled with grievance and resentment.
"Who was it that held my hand in the side hall earlier, making such solemn promises to me?"
"Who told me, 'Don't be afraid, I'm here, no one can hurt you'?"
"And the result?"
Nan Feng abruptly crushed the osmanthus cake in his hand into pieces, the crumbs falling everywhere: "Then you turn around and bring that old bastard to force me to my death! You forced me to self-destruct on the spot just to save this worthless life!"
"Wow, Miss Qian is amazing."
Nan Feng turned his head, his heterochromatic eyes filled with mockery and coldness: "If you want to kill me, just say so. Why beat around the bush like this? What's with the act of maternal love and filial piety? What's with the act of reluctance to part?"
"What? Did your grandfather get disappointed that your self-destruction didn't kill me last time? Or are you still upset and came here today to finish me off, to see if I'll blow myself up again?"
"No! That's not it!!"
Qian Renxue's face turned deathly pale instantly, tears welling up in her eyes as she frantically shook her head, crying, "No—Xue'er didn't mean to hurt Mommy!"
"It was an accident! Grandpa—Grandpa did it for Xue'er's safety—"
"Safety?!"
Nan Feng abruptly interrupted her, his voice rising sharply and filled with sarcasm: "Ha! Yes, safe!"
"I'm a madman, I'm a monster, my presence is the greatest danger to you! Your grandfather was absolutely right!"
Nan Feng stood up and shoved away Qian Renxue's outstretched hand: "If you think I'll harm you, if you think I'm dangerous, then what are you doing here?!"
"Are you looking to die?!"
"Go back to your shrine! Go be a canary under the protection of those old geezers! That's where you're safe! That's where you won't find a madman like me!"
After saying that, Nan Feng didn't even look at her again and turned to leave.
"Mother!!"
Qian Renxue panicked completely, overwhelmed by the fear of being abandoned again. Forgetting to wipe her tears, she desperately chased after her, her little legs shuffling: "Mommy, don't go! Xue'er was wrong! Xue'er was really wrong!"
"Mother--!!"
She cried out, reaching out to grab Nanfeng's fluttering clothes.
however.
Just as her fingertips were about to touch the purple-gold hem of the garment.
Nan Feng suddenly stopped in his tracks.
He turned around and looked down at the little girl who was crying her eyes out.
At that moment, all the mockery, grievance, and anger in his eyes vanished.
Instead, there is a sense of despairing alienation and indifference.
It's like looking at a complete stranger.
Qian Renxue was stunned by that look. Her small hand, which was outstretched in mid-air, froze in place, and her sobs were choked back in her throat.
"Don't call me 'Mom'," Nan Feng said calmly.
"I am not your mother, and I am not worthy of that title."
"Don't come looking for me again."
As soon as he finished speaking, a purple light flashed around Nan Feng, and he instantly turned into a blur, disappearing into the depths of the Imperial Garden.
Qian Renxue was left standing alone, staring at the empty darkness. Her small body trembled violently in the night wind. Finally, she collapsed to the ground, sobbing loudly.
Inside the Papal Palace, in a side hall.
Bibi Dong paused, the faint crying sound in her hand sounding as if it were exploding in her ears under her powerful mental perception.
That was Qian Renxue's crying.
Despair, helplessness, and even a sense of desolation as if abandoned by the whole world.
"Swish"
A flash of purple light appeared, and Nan Feng returned to the hall. He sat down on a chair next to him with a displeased look, grabbed the teapot on the table, and took a big gulp.
"What's going on?" Bibi Dong put down her pen, her brows furrowing slightly.
Nan Feng shrugged, looking completely innocent. "Of course, I followed your instructions and cut ties with that little burden, Qian Renxue, and sternly told her not to bother me again. How about that? Efficient, right?"
"Then why is she crying?" Bibi Dong's tone was somewhat cold.
"Big sister, do you have some kind of misunderstanding about the phrase 'drawing a clear line'?" Nan Feng rolled her eyes. "Do you think this is child's play? You can't just quit like that?"
"If she had never had this good mother, never experienced being pampered and protected, she might still treat you as a cold symbol, as an unattainable pope, just like before."
"After all, she is already nine years old. In two more years, when she grows up and is instilled with more righteousness by that old man Qian Daoliu, she may really no longer need this maternal love."
"But just a few days ago, she had it. That wonderful mother who would watch the stars with her, tell her stories, and protect her in times of danger."
"It was like a ray of light suddenly appearing in the darkest night."
"But what about now?"
"This light was not only extinguished, but it was also extinguished by her closest grandfather, and it was denied and pushed away by her good mother."
"To gain something and then lose it is far more heartbreaking than never having had it at all."
Bibi Dong remained silent.
Hearing the faint crying coming from outside, a strange unease and—a sharp pain—rose within her.
She recalled the despair she felt when she was locked in a secret room, and the collapse of a hopeful heart that was plunged into hell overnight.
Perhaps Qian Renxue feels the same way she did back then?
"Nanfeng".
Bibi Dong took a deep breath, forcibly suppressing the emotions she shouldn't have, and coldly ordered, "Go out and coax her."
"Don't let her cry here; it won't sound good if word gets out."
"ha?!"
Nan Feng was so angry he laughed.
"Bibi Dong, are you really suffering from schizophrenia?"
"You were the one who wouldn't let me get close to her before, forcing me to cut ties with her. Now you can't stand seeing her cry, and you want me to go over there and act as her babysitter!"
"One minute I'm made to be the bad guy, the next minute I'm made to be the good guy."
"Don't you think you're contradicting yourself and looking ridiculous?!"
"I—" Bibi Dong was speechless.
"I'm not going!"
Nan Feng slammed the teacup down on the table, crossed her legs, and said, "I've already played the bad guy, and I've personally shattered that 'good mother' persona."
"You want me to leave now? What do you mean?"
"Are you saying, 'Oh, I was just kidding,' or 'I was actually forced into it'?"
"Come on!"
"Some damage, once caused, can never be undone."
"And isn't this exactly what you wanted?"
"Make her hate me, make her stay away from me, make her completely lose all hope of maternal love."
"Isn't this the protection you've always wanted?"
"Since you're going to be that heartless mother, then be heartless to the end!"
"Stop pretending to be soft-hearted!"