After rebirth, she first killed the book thief, and she was busy writing articles to save people

Chapter 342: Don’t Want, Don’t Dare, Can’t

My mother finally asked this question, Jiang Baige thought.

She thought she would be angry, but she wasn't.

I don’t know whether it is because writing novels has liberated herself, or because the books she read in order to write novels have broadened her horizons, but Jiang Baige is now finding it easier to understand others and is less likely to get angry over inconsistencies in certain opinions.

She doesn't get angry when she sees that readers don't understand the imperfect portrayal of the heroine in her novel.

She was not angry when she heard her mother's one-sided understanding of women buying houses, marriage and life.

Because she really understands.

I understand why many readers have high moral standards for the heroine, get stressed when seeing male characters, and can't stand women taking advantage of any characters, especially men, otherwise they will automatically think that the heroine "can't live without a man"...

It's just because women have been disempowered for too long.

That strong sense of "objectivity" makes it impossible for them to face up to the "primary sex" that oppresses them; and the resulting sense of "unworthiness" makes them hesitate when taking advantage of others, and worry that all this comes at a price when they gain benefits; and they then "self-castrate" themselves, seeking peace through "independence" that retreats to a safe range.

If you ask Jiang Baige why she understands, it is because she is one of them.

Otherwise, she could just get married, and find a man who is rich and powerful, or has something she can cling to and use to climb up, so as to achieve class leaps or "primitive accumulation" again and again, and then kick this one out, use the next one, and continue to rush to higher places.

Instead of saving money to buy a small house.

Is it that she doesn’t want to, doesn’t dare to, or doesn’t know how to do it?

Both.

So what right did she have to be angry with others? She was not angry, and she didn't want to waste time making unnecessary explanations.

What she can do is to write down her understanding and ideas and spread them beyond the limitations of geography and time, to the hearts of those who really need them.

Only by waking up and uniting can they change their situation.

Now, facing her mother's confusion and doubts, she still did not firmly say "No, I won't get married", but said: "If there is a marriage that can benefit me, I will still get married."

This is not a lie, but the truth.

But even though it is true, it may not be realized.

At this moment, Bai Yunqing suddenly sighed: "...If you are still unmarried when I die, I will die with regrets."

Jiang Baige was stunned.

The emotion that her mother had felt when she said she would buy a house with money was instantly turned to ashes. Not only was it turned to ashes, but it also burned a wound of varying depths in her heart.

She knew this was her mother's limitation, but she didn't want to understand her.

"So, you want me to get married to satisfy your own happiness?" Jiang Baige laughed in anger, "Since you like getting married so much, then you should get married a few more times."

"I...I'm not..."

Bai Yunqing was visibly in a panic, waving her hands in front of her chest, as if trying to hold on to what she had just said.

But those words, with their thorns, venom and fire, had already been shot and could not be retrieved. They shot into Jiang Baige's heart and caused an irreparable wound.

Jiang Baige continued, "Actually, when you said that just now, my first reaction was that I would immediately go out and find someone to marry. After all, it's always easy to find a partner if you marry someone of lower status...

"As for whether you find me in the gutter or in the trash can, or when you see me rotten and stinking because I'm busy with family matters and no longer pursue my dreams or write, don't tell me some bullshit like 'you shouldn't have married him'."

Although Jiang Baige didn't want to "curse" herself like this.

But when she said, "If she could benefit from marriage, she would get married," her mother thought that she might never be able to get married in her life.

What does this mean?

This shows that as a woman, the mother also acknowledges that it is very difficult for women to gain benefits in marriage.

Especially for someone like Jiang Baige, who was raised in wealth, has ideas, ideals, and a strong sense of career, is good at being alone and likes a sense of distance, and cannot get any self-deceiving happiness from the "scam" of "giving for the family".

Although she has always wanted to control her own life and be the master of her own life - she can still maintain it by being single.

But when she conforms to society's expectations and enters the structure of "marriage", her personal power will be weakened and even disintegrated, and she will eventually surrender and lose herself.

As written in "On the Six Kingdoms":

"Cut five cities today, and ten cities tomorrow, and then have to sleep overnight. Looking up at the four realms, the Qin soldiers will come again."

Now that things have come to this, it would be better to give my mother a shot of prevention as soon as possible.

"If you don't want to die with regrets, then I suggest you start preparing yourself mentally now. Or... have another child."

Among the three people present, perhaps no one is more qualified to say "death" than Jiang Baige.

But there is something she must do even if it means death, but that thing is not getting married, let alone having children.

Whether she chose to quit her job to write in her previous life, or chose to buy a house alone in this life, the only thing she insisted on was: among all the choices related to herself, she firmly chose herself.

She can love many people, relatives, friends, lovers... but she will not love any of them more than herself.

If her mother would die with regret because she didn't get married, then that was it.

Jiang Baige stood up and decided to end the conversation.

My mother did not try to persuade me to stay. She just sat on the chair, seeming to be thinking about a lot of things, yet also seemingly thinking about nothing.

Jiang Baige has no time to take care of her.

It's not because she's cold-blooded, but because she has important things to do.

In the past, these things might have interfered with her writing - once, a few comments from readers that she didn't understand would stop her from writing for a long time.

But after writing for six or seven years, her body had long since become one with writing, and external objects could not invade her brain or the writing part of her life.

Even if the sky fell and the earth broke, she could still sit at her desk and write two thousand words.

She knew it wasn't her giftedness.

Just like the common plot in martial arts novels, she practiced every day, and at a certain moment, she suddenly succeeded. She didn't even know when she reached that level, but she had become one with the world: she and her writing.

But bad news always seemed to come one after another, leaving her no chance to breathe.

Another day, after she finished writing the manuscript for the day and her mood had calmed down a little from yesterday, she received a call from Dugu He -

The book about patricide, which was originally scheduled to be published in the second quarter of this year, has to be shelved.

Although it is called the "second quarter", it is actually the result of a delay of several months.

Because what we originally said was to avoid the wave of new books released at the end of the year and try to release it in early 20.

But now...can it still be released?

Jiang Baige's heart, which had not yet fully risen, sank again.